Final Countdown

A few weeks from now and I will embark on my 4th year in college. Supposedly my last year. But because of enjoying the world a little too much, I am extended for another year. So. Two more years. Two more years and then what? I don't really know. I'd be living my own life, I guess.

Looking Forward:

I have a lot of dreams actually. I want to get married and have kids. I want to work and be able to provide for my family. I want my kids to grow up knowing the most important people in my life. I want to be the most amazing mother in the world. I want to have a job that I love, a job that I will never get tired of doing. I want to learn to cook, so I can cook for the man I love and also for my kids. I want to learn to cook so we can invent recipes in our kitchen together. I want our dream house to become real.

I want to stay with you forever, Henry Mark Binahon. I want to fall asleep beside you every day of my life, and wake up in the morning with you still beside me. I want to kiss you goodnight and goodmorning. I want to make you smile every single day of your life. I want all our dreams and our plans to become true. I want to continue loving you until we're too old to remember anything except our feelings for one another.

I want my kids to become close to the kids of Aryan, Jizza, Kyel, Sam, my brods and sisses, and orgmates and Area51/Impound people. I want to stay connected with all of them. I want my children to go to UPLB where they will mature and where they will meet the love of their lives.

I want to be someone that I can be proud of.

Looking at the coming year:

It is the final countdown of most of my friends, after this year, they will be in the wild. In the real world. And while I still have two years to go, I will make the most of it, to prepare myself for whatever comes next.

They say you can't have it all. I don't know why I even bother trying.

what vacation does to me

What vacation does to me is horrible. I start to think a lot. I start to miss people. I get restless. Just to get this off my chest, here are the things I miss the most.

I miss the tamabayans of devcomsoc and KE/ThE.
I miss Sir JP's class.
I miss walking around campus on windy days.
I miss Monday Club.
I miss Wednesday Girls.
I miss Ministop's ice cream.
I miss foodtripping.
I miss the proven in Raymundo.
I miss sleeping in the CDC Annexes.
I miss the pressure of submitting a paper on time.
I miss Ristretto days with Jizza and Aryan.
I miss DotA days with my amigas.
I miss inuman sessions with my brods and sisses.
I miss Signals '08.
I miss the laundrygirl who does my laundry.

I miss sleeping next to you and waking up with your face being the first thing I see every morning :(

out of boredom

i miss blogging. i realized that just this Christmas vacation when I found myself online almost 24/7 doing nothing except Facebooking. Haha. I realized I missed blogging after 2 years. Wow. Then I thought "Why not create a new blog? Start from scratch? Since I've changed a lot, why not? New me, newer blog."

Guess what.
I chickened out.

I knew I can never update that new blog when school starts again on January. God, when I was an avid blogger with THREE blogs, was I really that bored? Did I really have nothing to do? That sucks. While now, I am probably one of the busiest girls on campus being part of the University Student Council, an academic organization and a sorority.

Maybe, just maybe, I miss blogging because deep down inside me, I am still a writer. When nothing left to do, I write. And I miss having blogs available for me to write in anytime. It's sad isn't it? Blogging used to be my life. And now, I just blog to cure my boredom.

And now. Gone is the emo template. And here now, is one of blogspot's basic templates. Why not go back to basics? :) I had the courage to delete my two blogs. I don't know why I can't delete this one. Probably just so I can always have something to hold on to.

it's over!

HAHAHA!Finally!Tapos na!2nd generation Soc :)
I LOVE DEVCOMSOC! :D

wala akong masabi.

grabe, after how many months, ngayon na lang ulit ako nakapagblog. and i thought i had given up on blogging. i ran out of topics, i ran out of time, i ran out of willingness to blog. still, what matters most is that right now, for the meantime, i am reunited with my blog.

so for the past three weeks, i have been a different Regina Ongkiko. Gone (for the meantime) is the Regina who spends every break time at Area51. Gone is the Regina who goes home late because of simply NOT wanting to be home. Gone is the Regina who is pretty much relaxed about everything.

for the past three weeks, I have been an applicant of the UPLB Development Communicators' Society, the org of both my parents, my cousin and their close friends. Wait, I wasn't pushed into this. Sure, the idea of joining was introduced to me by my father but the mismong decision to join was made by me. when i made that decision, i knew i'd have to sacrifice a lot of things but i was willing to do anything to be a part of this organization.

ayun. mahirap. hehe. no kidding. kahit na sabi nila na hindi daw ako mukhang haggard, oo haggard ako. ngayon lang ako nakapagpuyat ng ganto. ngayon ko lang naramdaman tong presure na to. oo, obviously i've always lived with pressure. pressure because of who my parents are, pressure because they all know me. as in. define pressure! haha.

eto pa. i realized that i had been too attached to my high school batchmates that during my first year in college, i didn't take the time to get to know my college batchmates. ngayon, dahil sa application process na to, mas nakikilala ko sila at narealize ko how much i've missed the past year.

hmmm.anu pa ba.sabi nila lahat role playing lang daw lahat to. i try to keep that in mind, pero minsan, mahirap talaga. we are challenged physically, mentally and emotionally. batch unity is tested too. tinuturuan kaming mag-assert, at panindigan ang pinaniniwalaan namin. dito sa process, tinetest lang daw talaga kami. lahat sila dumaan sa ganito, mas malala pa nung panahon nila. unfair naman kung hindi namin to maxperience. ibig sabihin hindi kami deserving. at syempre, tinuro din sa amin na hindi lahat ng gusto mo ay makukuha mo ng ganoon kadali.

pero, weird enough, kahit na mahirap, nakakapagod at minsan talaga mararamdaman mo na gusto mo na itigil to, enjoy parin siya kahit papaano eh. batch meetings every night, kwentuhan tungkol sa experiences sa araw na yun, at kahit na pagod na pagod na lahat at may mga naiyak pa, laging may mahahanap na bagay na pwedeng pagtawanan. and if you're leaning towards the quitting side, may pumipigil sayo eh. BATCHMATES MO. because we all entered this together. at dapat lahat ng sinisimulan, tinatapos. at actually, kahit na 11 na lang kami, alam namin na kaming 11 yung 11 na talagang determined at talagang makikiramay hanggang dulo.

grabe 2 days na lang. namiss ko dati kong buhay, pero hindi ako nagrregret na nagaapply ako. ang dami kong natutunan. ang daming nagbago, and most of all, i found out that i really love my ten batchmates. walang iwanan, walang samaan ng loob. lahat kami, sama sama. :)

college life

(just for the sake of posting something.)
what my college days are made of: (7 essentials)

1) BORDO BURGERS: big burgers, reasonable prices, near area51, and a great atmosphere for bonding with friends. hmm so the burger preparation is a bit long and calls for patience, but so what? while waiting for the burgers, you can talk to your companions about anything. there's just something about the place that makes you want to stay even after you've already finished your burger. my favorite? HELLFIRE with lots and lots and lots of hotsauce! :D

2) AREA51 PARTIES: birthday parties, celebration parties, or wala lang parties. any excuse just to party and eat lots of food and hang out with the people at area51. pizza, sisig, beer, fishballs, zagu, piknik, cashew nuts, pansit, pandesal, and munchkins. we can party anytime. and as we party, we talk about dota, about acads, and basically anything. and sometimes, we even have mini-film showings of youtube videos. area51 is really a family.

3) BUKO de FRUTAS: nothing beats a huge fresh fruit salad with buko for only 49php! plus, it's just across the street from area51. spell sobrang sulit! hehe. plus it's refreshing at sobrang nakakabusog! may mango, melon, watermelon, at syempre buko. haha. aaah! tapos nung last week ko lang napansin na may lychee din pala! aaw. :( ohwell. try nyo, must-eat ito especially on super duper hot days in elbi.

4) KUYA VINCENT: we used to call him Manong Fishball, but now we know his real name. his spot is smack in front of area51. aside from being the official provider of the official fishballs, squidballs, kwekkwek, kikiam and chickenballs of area51, kuya vincent is also the local provider of coins! he's also considered to be part of the tropang area51. masayang kakwentuhan, at palagi pang may libreng fishball na dagdag!

5) DotA: not a day passes without the mention of the word "DotA". sometimes we go through a day without playing this game if we're really busy but still, the word is mentioned. when one enters the shop, you can hear these words at once : "tara, dota! scare?" boys, girls, kiddies, oldies play this cursed game. fun, addicting, yet also the reason why students cut classes, skip meals and go home late at night.

6) eLBi square: still right across area51, here one can choose from a multitude of eating places and tambayans. madalas sa Eat Sumo kami kumakaen or nagpapa-deliver na lang.usually, students who are trying to save money eat the stuff at Hot Plate, the first place you'll see when you enter the Square. hmm.anu pa ba. CRIBS, huling tambay ko dito ay summer pa. ang mahal kasi, but fun. :)


7) AMIGAS' CR SESSIONS: the perfect way to end a day full of headaches, sunburns and academics. the door at the back of area51 contains a CR, a bodega, and an ashtray. i don't smoke-i have never even tried it. only one amiga smokes, but the rest of us like to spend time inside that small room just to laugh aloud, to cry, to comfort one another and to simply talk about stuff. it doesn't matter to us if the room smells of yosi or if we're surrounded by garbage bags. this room is where we really bond.

yup. 7 essentials of my college life! to cut it short: friends, food and dota! haha! tomorrow, i'm officially going to be an OF (Old Freshman) as i pay for my tuition and get my form 5. time flies? sure does. xD

math22?

i think i failed math11.
well.that's what i think.

i can't say i didn't try. i answered the workbook. i spent a lot of money on handouts.i answered the sample exams over and over again.i even asked some people to tutor me every chance i had.
i admit i was lazy at first. i had low exam scores. but i studied, and then i had higher quiz scores.

but math? i can't, don't and never will understand it.

what?i can't be good in everything.i can boast about my grade of 1 in english2 and my 1.75 in psy1. but i can never boast about my grade in math11. when i told people about it, i was smiling-laughing even. but the truth is, i am very much ashamed of it.

if ever i would have to repeat math11, ill do better. i did my best, but i guess i should do better than my best. it's math after all. and it's a thousand per unit in UP. i will save money though so my parents won't have to pay for my take 2.

i feel so stupid.there are a lot of things i can be proud of. this is not one of them.

it started with a game

such awesome friendship. you'd never expect it started just because of some game.

carabao park, late at night. three girls sitting side by side. jizza,aryan and me. talking. about dota, about area, about guys, about girls, about memories. and then we suddenly talked about our current set of friends.

we call ourselves the DotA-amigas.mainly because we are girls, who play DotA. before summer, there were only a few girls who played this game. as usual, because guys are the rulers in this domain. so we stuck together. magyayaya. "sige, tara!" kanina, we laughed as we reminisced those days. nung wala pa kaming alam sa dota. naglalaro ng walang items. walang alam na items. hindi alam ang denies. soooo noob! harhar! :))

ngayon, the guys have accepted us as dota players. nauuso na ang mixed girls and boys pag nagdodota ngayon. adik na kame sa moneyshots and denies, and we know all about item builds. but i'm way beyond what i'm trying to say. baka mapa-lecture pa ako tungkol sa dota.haha.

anyway.all of us DotA amigas.well, we're high school batchmates. we know each other, basically but we came from different barkadas. it was DotA that brought us together. lalu na ngayong college. the DotA-amigas eLBi chapter has evolved. dati, dota lang. ngayon, it's an awesome friendship. siguro kasi palagi na kami ang magkakasama. pero ngayon, eto na siguro ang barkada ko.

when we have problems, we tell the amigas. we laugh and eat and talk with amigas. grabe. imagine. dahil lang sa DotA kaya kami naging close. at hindi basta bastang close. kakaiba eh. :) ang saya noh. haha.

just a simple game and a span of a few months and.. POOF! (it became coco crunch!haha.)

POOF! the greatest, funniest and craziest set of friends one could have. :D

weird nanaman.

it's weird, isn't it?it's weird that you can feel so happy, so content, so alive for a few hours. you think that your whole day's gonna be great just because of THAT.you think nothing can go wrong.and everyone notices that you're happy, that there's something different about the way you smile today.

..and then, suddenly.you frown,you feel as if everything good suddenly turned around and came running towards you, knocked you over and surrounded you, suffocating you.BWISET.

but that's life, diba? you can't be forever happy. there'll always be something that's gonna make you feel bad.pero xempre, there are a lot of things that will be the reasons for you to smile.balanced daw yan palagi.magiging happy ka, tapos magiging sad.eew.haha.

pero ewan.most of the time, really.i feel as if my life is anything BUT balanced.because when i'm hyper, and really really happy, sobra talaga.parang kinaen ko na lahat ng kasiyahan sa mundo.bwahaha.parang akin lahat.ganun din pag bad3p na bad3p ako.ewan ko ba.

pag badtrip ako, badtrip ako sa lahat.mahirap makahanap ng something na magpapasaya ulit sakin.weird.

college life okay naman.masaya.nung unang weeks, wala maxadong complications.ang tanga ko naman nung naisip ko na forever na ganun. syempre hinde. tina-try yata i-balance eh.kahit na ganun nga.. kahit na para sakin, never yun magiging balanced. kakaiba. yun.anu pa ba.

at first i dreaded the block meetings.ngayon i actually look forward to them.i find it funny that there are only 3 guys in our block.i like the thought that the girls in blockE1 and i get along. we're all noisy,funny and outgoing.xempre, DevCom eh.wenks.and of course, i still find it funny (and i'm not the only one) that our blockhead is this conio guy who has a car and looks super tamad but he's actually very dedicated to being out blockhead.well, dapat lang noh.he volunteered, after all.

misconceptions

we learned the following this week:

1.women and men are both emotional, but women are just more expressive about their emotions. the funny thing is, the guys in our class answered that women are more emotional then men. but one of them admitted that the last time he cried was last sunday. still, don't you feel weird when you see a guy crying? haha. or maybe it's because guys and girls express their feelings differently.

2.children who have gay parents are not likely to become gay. hindi daw parents ang dahilan kung bakit nagiging gay ang isang tao. it's the environment daw.

3.people tend to pair off with people who match them in physical appearance. sad to say, but it's true. i guess it's correct that usually, appearances and nagiging basis ng mga tao. and based din dun sa appearance nila, tsaka na idedecide ng iba kung gusto pa nilang mas makilala yung taong yun.sad noh?

4.masturbation does not cause mental disorder. haha. mejo weird but our psychology teacher advises everyone to masturbate at least once every other day. :)) yebah, even girls!haha.my guy friends love to talk about this topic but i don't know a single girl who does it.haha.

5.IQ is not the only measurement of a person's intelligence. kasi daw, marami pang ibang ways para ma-measure ang galing ng isang tao. kunyari, may tao daw na plgeng nagfflunk sa school pero he's street-wise.

6.absence does not make the heart grow fonder. at first daw, cguro oo. pero time will come daw na you will forget. may limit daw eh.haaaay.and yun.i asked my friends about this and ARYAN said that "absence makes the heart forget".

ayos noh?haha.mga misconceptions nga naman.so far college life is fun.mas nagiging close ang batch namen nung high school.tuwing break time,punta na area51.haha.and that's where we feel at home. :)

WHO AM I

it's our first assignment in PSY1. (psychology 1) write an essay entitled "WHO AM I?"
anu yon, parang yung sa friendster-About Me.facts about yourself.but i don't want to write just another essay na puro ganun lang.i want it to be something more... ewan. basta something more.haha.

ayoko magsulat ng tungkol sa mga paborito kong bagay, o pagkaen, o music. kasi, for me? it's just the surface. it's not who i really am. so, who am i? and this led me to think that i don't even know myself that well. sucks.

i'm a very complicated person. i talk a lot, i laugh a lot and i kid around a lot.usually i will listen to whatever anyone has to say, and sometimes i will only listen to myself. i can say one thing and think otherwise.i can laugh the whole day and cry when i go home for reasons no one knows about. everything i do has a purpose. i feel uncomfortable when friends cry in front of me because i know i can say a multitude of things but that it won't stop them from crying. i also cry easily when i'm alone. i only cry when i'm with my closest friends. maybe that means i really do choose my best friends. i hang out with a lot of people but they only know the surface.

i get bored a lot.i get frustrated a lot.i will say i forgive you, but that doesn't mean i'll forget about it.i fall in love rarely, and when i do, it's for a loooong time. i find it hard making decisions because i know i'll always end up disappointing someone. sometimes i fight for what i want, sometimes i just sit back quietly. i talk when i'm nervous but i also talk when i'm comfortable. i like challenges, and i like winning them. i know wrong from right, but that doesn't stop me from doing the wrong things.

that's me.it's still not enough, i guess. but it's not just the surface. should i pass something like that? what do you think? help me! =)

college kid

yesterday was officially the start of my college life.
and.. well.being in college is different when you just graduated from UPRHS. [University of the Philippines Rural High School.]

one, because people expect more from you. two, because most of your batchmates are also in UPLB you won't have a hard time making friends. three, because you already know the campus. and four, because most college students don't like Ruralites [that's what we call students from UPRHS].

ARYAN said last week: never ko inakalang ikakahiya ko ang pagiging Ruralite ko.

i'm proud to be a Ruralite. but i hate it that the word "Ruralite" automatically brands us as notorious, over-confident and loud freaks.

yesterday during our college orientation[i'm in DevComm btw.], my seatmate asked me what high school i graduated from. i answered with "sa Rural po." and she said "ay ang yabang"

grawr.

ooh.and it is said that Ruralites have some kind of sickness wherein we don't attend block meetings.well.we'll prove that wrong.xD

a mess

i actually cleaned my room yesterday.not because i wanted to, but because i had to, and they all made me do it.well, cleaning my room is really a hard task. you'll only understand what i mean when you see for yourself my room.ahaha. >:) too bad my room's all clean now.

i've been "rooming" there since 1st year high school.and no matter how many people tell me that the room is a rathole, it's okay for me since it's MY room.MY stuff.and i know where my things are.it may look disorganized to you but it's perfectly organized for me.

and yesterday, as i was cleaning it up i had to divide my stuff into groups.

*stuff to be taken to the dorm
*stuff to throw
*stuff to give away
*stuff to keep in my grandparents' house.

i had to be harsh to my things. i had to throw stuff that were useless, even though they held so many memories. i had to throw away pieces of paper that i used to draw on when i'm bored in school.sux.i had to give away stuff that were memorable, yet useless.

and it hit me.that room sort of symbolized my high school life.i filled it up at the start of 1st yr high school and now, before going to college, i'm leaving it and emptying it. that room held all the stuff i've been through during my high school life.books,notes,gifts,clothes,shoes.memories.haha and you know i'm a sucker for memories.

to most people my room is a mess.it's disorganized and stuff.
to some people,my high school life was a mess, full of stuff they didn't understand.

just like my room.

and just as i left high school, i'm now leaving that room.

***************************

btw.may dilaw pala na pakwan?!as in.yellow na watermelon. [okay in-english ko lng.haha.]
weird.

of college and dorms

i know i haven't been blogging much.. but a lot of things have been happening.as in a lot.in this house.and i can't write about those stuff and i can't tell anyone.not even those who are super close to me.i don't know..i just can't..there's something holding me back.and ihsa noticed yesterday..she asked me:

ihsa: okei ka lang?
reg: hinde..ewan.
ihsa: bakit?
reg: ewan.

it may sound lame..but 'ewan' naman talaga eh.kahit ako..sobrang naguguluhan na ko sa mga nangyayari dito.and even though it hurts that some people think i don't know when to be serious (when in fact, i do), i have to smile.i always have to smile..and i want to keep on smiling. i want to convince them--and myself, that everything's gonna be okay. coz it will be. i know it will..but just not now..

and then my friends and i started talking about college..about our first choice of campus, course, etc.. and i was silent. i was thinking: i have to pass UPDiliman..i want to pass UPDiliman.i want to study there.i want to live with my family again.i need to get away from this house. if i pass UPLB, i'll be with friends, but i'll be living in this cursed house!if i decide to get a dorm here, it won't seem right.

people will think: she has grandparents here, and yet she's in a dorm?

my dad will, once again, be the villain. but the real villains are my grandparents. and yet one time, a thought crossed my mind: i could be the villain. maybe i am the villain.

it may sound soooo petty that i dislike talking about college just because of the whole 'where-will-i-stay-and-what-will-happen' thing.. it may sound unimportant to some..

but it's very important to me.it's very complicated.especially if you're involved in the mess.and for all you know, that mess could've been created by you. fuckerness.

i'm not asking them to understand.i can't blame people if they can't understand.besides, it's not like i understand everything. when they listen to me, that's all it takes for me to be happy.

but how can they listen if i don't open up?

why don't i open up that much anymore? i think..i think i got tired of explaining the same things all over again.

okay.you probably don't understand my post.i'm not asking you to understand.reading it, that's all it takes for me to be happy.

sue me.

UPCAT

sorry naman.wala akong maisip na title eh.anyway, i'll be taking the UPCAT this sunday 6.30 am.imaaaaagine that.super early and i'm a girl who's always late in school.but never mind, never mind.i'm not studying.ahaha.di naman sa kampante ako dahil ruralite ako.. but.. i don't study naman talaga.besides, the teachers said "relaaaax.."

i'm scared.why?
1.this is the only college entrance exam i'm going to take. if i fail this, saan ang bagsak ko?
2.this is my future. it will somehow detect where i will be ten years from now.

so.tomorrow.sunday morning.at least i'll be with some of my batchmates.actually, our whole batch will be taking the UPCAT in AnSci but different times. oh, and here's the interesting part. we'll be taking the test with Brent students. waaaw.haha. a super "sosyal" international school mingling with a public school.cool.

sabagay.my neighbor in Antipolo..well. nilalait niya ko because i'm not girly daw, i study in a public school, while she's always in skirts, and studies in a private school.i wanted to shove something in her face and tell her:

"oo nga.public school nga ako.eh run by UP naman kami eh.so there!"

lol.sorry for a random post.please pray for me!i want to study ClothingTech so badly..

God bless batchmates! =D IT's OVER!hehe.120 percent?kaya yan!

pati na rin kay PATTY and VINKZ!God Bless senyo!