Final Countdown

A few weeks from now and I will embark on my 4th year in college. Supposedly my last year. But because of enjoying the world a little too much, I am extended for another year. So. Two more years. Two more years and then what? I don't really know. I'd be living my own life, I guess.

Looking Forward:

I have a lot of dreams actually. I want to get married and have kids. I want to work and be able to provide for my family. I want my kids to grow up knowing the most important people in my life. I want to be the most amazing mother in the world. I want to have a job that I love, a job that I will never get tired of doing. I want to learn to cook, so I can cook for the man I love and also for my kids. I want to learn to cook so we can invent recipes in our kitchen together. I want our dream house to become real.

I want to stay with you forever, Henry Mark Binahon. I want to fall asleep beside you every day of my life, and wake up in the morning with you still beside me. I want to kiss you goodnight and goodmorning. I want to make you smile every single day of your life. I want all our dreams and our plans to become true. I want to continue loving you until we're too old to remember anything except our feelings for one another.

I want my kids to become close to the kids of Aryan, Jizza, Kyel, Sam, my brods and sisses, and orgmates and Area51/Impound people. I want to stay connected with all of them. I want my children to go to UPLB where they will mature and where they will meet the love of their lives.

I want to be someone that I can be proud of.

Looking at the coming year:

It is the final countdown of most of my friends, after this year, they will be in the wild. In the real world. And while I still have two years to go, I will make the most of it, to prepare myself for whatever comes next.

They say you can't have it all. I don't know why I even bother trying.

a toast

A toast to 2009: a year of many memories, of many losses and gains, of friendships and loves, a year of learning. So here's to you 2009..

Here's to haircuts and how great they make one feel.
to celebrating the first year anniversary with your boyfriend who you will later break up with.
to playing computer games with fellow amigas.
to wearing tsinelas almost all year round.
to being politically aware.
to joining protests and rallies.
to standing up and fighting for what you believe in.
to losing Area51 and transferring to Impound and realizing the true meaning of tropa.
to responsibilities.
to new found talents.
to expectations and to how one should never expect.
to break-ups and friendships still kept.
to barkada reunions.
to barkada sleepovers.
to barkada gimmicks.
to barkadas.
to MS, a group of girls who after all these years and petty fights are still always there.
(Ihsa, Irish, Kae, Aryan, Sandra, Nyka)
to the DotA Amigas, a group of unique girls who are always there for you no matter what you do, no matter who you fall for and no matter how evil your plans are.
(Aryan, Jizza, Kate, Yim)
to BESTFRIENDS.
to thinking you know who to trust.
to being betrayed.
to thinking you were in love again.
to taking summer classes.
to making new friends and enemies during the summer.
to making big decisions.
to weighing your priorities.
to joining a sorority.
to sorority girls.
to my sorority sisters and fraternity brothers: UP Theta Epsilon Sorority and Kappa Epsilon Fraternity: Thank you for a wonderful year and thank you for all the lessons.
to starting the new school year with a lot of load at once.
to parties.
to drinking.
to vices and the bonding that goes with them.
to workshops.
to secrets.
to celebrating the first anniversary of SIGNALS '08.
(Lulu, Hazelle, Kate, Lybie, Bea, Dave, Benj, Sosep, JM, Vince)
to Signals '08 and the entire UPLB DevComSoc.
to batch unity.
to walking up Forestry during midnight.
to crying over movies.
to tears and to laughter that can come at the same time but often not.
to boredom.
to travelling.
to being haggard and being pressured and still coming out alive.
to surviving.
to tanlines on arms and feet.
to failures and getting back up again.
to FALLING IN LOVE again.
to having a new boyfriend that takes care of you the best.
(Henry Mark Binahon. MISS NA KITA.)
to living away from my parents and grandparents.
to part time jobs.
to debates and to tests and to self-confidence.
to high school reunions and to reminiscing.
to sleepless nights because of too much work.
to sleepless nights just because you want to stay awake.
to learning that friendship doesn't have to be so close-distance.
to learning that you can do it if you just put your mind to it.
to having more belief in oneself and to being a person you can respect.
to respect.
to self-fulfillment and to accomplishments.
to death and how it brings people together.
to losses.
to gains.
to winning.
to losing.
to acceptance.
to friendship.
to sisterhood.
to LOVE.
to CHANGE.

to ending the year on a happy note.
to 2009.
HERE'S TO YOU.

Power. Responsibility.
(Toy Kingdom, Mall of Asia, December 2009)

the right part

There's something nice about knowing that I'm not the only one who doesn't fit the part.

Christmas :)

Here's something to think about this Christmas. Hmmm.

Happy Birthday Jesus. :)

my 2009. :)

Kung akala ko dati ang tanda ko na, nako. May itatanda pa pala ako. Dahil 2009 was the year I turned 18! Yes, legal na sa wakas. I thought na wala nang tatalo sa 2007 and 2008 ko. But I was wrong. Haha. Sure enough, 2009 topped the past years.


And here are the highlights of this amazing year. :)

Syempre, why not start the year with a new look? Hehe. After having my waist-length hair cut last September 2008 until above my shoulders, I went for an even shorter, even funkier and even more chic hairstyle.


Then the Baguio Field trip with my Devcomsoc Batchmates plus King and Chin was an awesome experience too. We went to see the Panagbenga festival, we sang songs in the van, we took amazing photographs and we bonded for three days straight. Haay. I will never get tired of them. :)

Winning as the College Representative for the College of Development Communication was no easy victory. Sure enough, this provided a lot of challenges for me within the year. I also became more active and more aware of issues inside and outside the campus.

Joining a sorority was something I have always wanted to do since high school. Something was always just holding me back. College came and I felt the urge even more and finally, I joined the UP Theta Epsilon Sorority. :)

Signals '08 celebrated our first anniversary as members of the UPLB DEVCOMSOC. We went to Enchanted Kingdom and had a month-long celebration filled with midnight walks and drinking escapades. :)

Making Waves 2009 and the 37th Anniversary of UPLB DEVCOMSOC was a tiring but fulfilling way to end the year. We'll always be on top of the odds. :)

Area51 closed down but we found a new place: IMPOUND. Different place, different management, but still the same best group of friends and gamers. :)

Ihsa came back for a visit but also left. But not before having some super bonding moments and talks enough to last until her next visit. :)

At syempre, 2009 was also the year I met Mr. Henry Mark Q. Binahon. Weee! Eto super highlight talaga! Hehe. Gusto niyo malaman paano ako patawanin at pasayahin? Tanong niyo siya, pero I doubt hindi niyo parin magagawa as well as he does. :) Hindi ko rin naman inexpect na magkakaboyfriend ulit ako pero diba nga, kaya dapat hindi tayo nageexpect, para may surprises tayo. :) I'm one happy girl ngayon dahil sakanya. Sorry cheeeeesy. Haha. I love you :)

Few more highlights:
*finally moving out from my grandparents' house and experiencing college life at its best. :)
*heading the Program Committee for Making Waves 2009
*a lot of ups and downs during the middle of the year but everything's still intact.
*becoming an Elder for ThE Sorority :)
*my constant weight gain and loss.haha!
*riding on a truck with my sisses plus Mark and Arjay and a bunch of strangers because the water was waist-high during Ondoy. :)))

Andami rin pala highlights ng 2009 ko. Haha. Sobra pa sa inexpect. So once again, wag nga magexpect. Haha! Pero seriously, isa ito sa pinaka eventful and dramatic years. Or maybe, parang napansin ko, as the years go by, each becomes more and more eventful.

I can't wait to see what 2010 will bring us. :)

taken during the Signals '08 Enchanted Kingdom expedition
WON'T YOU WRAP ME UP IN A DREAM WITH YOU?

so high school.

iba.iba talaga yung feeling na nasa UPRHS ulit. siguro daw iba na yung tingin sa amin ng mga freshies. for some reason kasi, nahasa na kame ng rural. andami naming natutunan--not just academics. sa rural kame nagka-personality talaga. ang habol naman daw ng iba kaya pumunta kahapon ay ang makasama lang ulit ang batchmates. naglolokohan nga kami ng "sa lahat ng ginawa naten, akalain mo yun, naka-graduate pa tayo."

iba din kasi talaga ang simplicity and complications ng high school life.

tapos syempre, may effect din yung nasa rural talaga kami. our territory.it felt good to be back. we even reminisced a bit. yak i sound so mushy. haha. pero kahapon, nung nasa rural talaga, it felt sooo.. ewan. haha. i felt at peace. sa rural kasi nangyari ang four best years of my life. best? oo naman. high school yun eh. madaming experiences, madaming changes. we grew up in rural high.

sabi ng isa kong batchmate kahapon, nung paalis na kami ng rural nung hapon, "iba talaga dito.babalik at babalik ka parin eh."

how true. and i'm now looking forward to the sembreak. reunion na ng UPRHS Class o7! :)

what's a perfect life?

i slept the whole day.well..almost the whole day.i slept on maila's couch with five more people.it was very uncomfortable but still fun.after all,it is nice when you just sit around with friends.we were also playing around with this neon-orange thing-y.we spin around on it..hmm..i guess that's why i was so sleepy.lol nah. i know the real reason why i was sleepy..and no one else knows about it.well, one person knows about it.but i won't tell you who it is anyway so what's the point in writing about it?sorry..

i wish i had a perfect life..or not.i don't really know.will i be that much happier?there are some people whom i think have a perfect life.. there was even this girl back in elementary.i envied her.i thought she had everything.but she did not.when we became close friends, i found out a lot about her.i mean..okay.they're rich,her family's complete and she's blessed with beauty and brains..but i won't go deeper into that now.. after all.. it's her story.

and my life..this life..it's my own story too.i want it to be perfect, but i know it won't be.i just have to wait and see what the ending is.

luv reg

i never realized how much life sucked

today..dfintely sucked.i'm sure it wasn't only for me.i know lots of people were having a rough day.i can't believe she knew about what we did.

she knows what we did. but she doesn't know that he was part of it.
and now my life's on the line.

why?

why did she have to enter my life?why did she have to create this mess? and why did he have to run from her? why did he have to be afraid of commitment? and why was my life the choice for these two people to enter? i don't want her know. but oh well, so she knows. i can keep on hating her. i only see her once or twice in a month anyway. but i see him.. more often. especially now that he's done something drastic and pushed me into the mess. actually, i think he and i created this mess but i'm not sure. all i know is..it's her, it's him and it's me.

i was not myself today.a lot of people noticed it.after all.. who am I? just a happy face..with a smile ready to share. and slowly, i'm hating more and more people.