WHO AM I

it's our first assignment in PSY1. (psychology 1) write an essay entitled "WHO AM I?"
anu yon, parang yung sa friendster-About Me.facts about yourself.but i don't want to write just another essay na puro ganun lang.i want it to be something more... ewan. basta something more.haha.

ayoko magsulat ng tungkol sa mga paborito kong bagay, o pagkaen, o music. kasi, for me? it's just the surface. it's not who i really am. so, who am i? and this led me to think that i don't even know myself that well. sucks.

i'm a very complicated person. i talk a lot, i laugh a lot and i kid around a lot.usually i will listen to whatever anyone has to say, and sometimes i will only listen to myself. i can say one thing and think otherwise.i can laugh the whole day and cry when i go home for reasons no one knows about. everything i do has a purpose. i feel uncomfortable when friends cry in front of me because i know i can say a multitude of things but that it won't stop them from crying. i also cry easily when i'm alone. i only cry when i'm with my closest friends. maybe that means i really do choose my best friends. i hang out with a lot of people but they only know the surface.

i get bored a lot.i get frustrated a lot.i will say i forgive you, but that doesn't mean i'll forget about it.i fall in love rarely, and when i do, it's for a loooong time. i find it hard making decisions because i know i'll always end up disappointing someone. sometimes i fight for what i want, sometimes i just sit back quietly. i talk when i'm nervous but i also talk when i'm comfortable. i like challenges, and i like winning them. i know wrong from right, but that doesn't stop me from doing the wrong things.

that's me.it's still not enough, i guess. but it's not just the surface. should i pass something like that? what do you think? help me! =)

i did NOT want this.

i didn't want this. i didn't want the crying and the arguments and the "bahala ka". i want to talk. to actually talk.tell me what you want.i'll tell you what i want and we can work things out.i just want you to take into consideration what's happening to me.i want you to listen. to actually listen, not just to nod and block what i'm saying. coz you have to hear what i've got to say. you have to.

i'm having a hard time making decisions.kasi naguguluhan na ako. hindi lang naman kasi ako, or kayo, or sila ang maaapektuhan. ang hirap. aaarrrrghhh.

two homes

as all of you probably know.. i live here in eLBi [Los Baños] in my grandparents' house. my parents and siblings live in manila. it's a tough situation. really.

i miss living with them. i miss seeing them everyday, talking to them, biking around, hanging out with them. sure i love eLBi. i really really really love elbi. i mean, my friends are here, the place is wonderful, the campus is really cool. but my parents and siblings aren't here.

i guess sometimes, advantage din yung di ko sila kasama dito. that way, i get to miss them. pag nagkita kami,wow!reunion!ahaha.we can spend more time telling stories to each othr, catching up. ewan ko lang kung anu magiging relationship namin kung dun ako nakatira during high school.cguro it's part of what made us close.

but.. yun.dito ako sa yUPieLBi magkacollege. the sad part is that once again, i don't get to live with them. i don't get to see papa,mumsy,chiara,jay and bea everyday. but i get to miss them still.aaaargghh. it's tough.really. sometimes i feel as if kelangan kong pumili kung saan ba talaga.

saan nga ba?syempre gusto ko kasama ko sila.pero syempre,gusto ko din kasama ko mga katropa ko.kakaiba yung feeling eh..

1. kasama mo parents mo, pero wala kang kilalang ibang tao sa lugar.
2. at home na at home ka sa place, you know everybody, but di mo kasama pamilya mo.

oh, and my birthday's coming up!haha.NO.i'm not excited.because i don't know what i'm going to do. i want to spend time with my friends AND my family. bwiset. ahaha. guys! help me think of something! siguro i can spend the whole day with my friends tapos dinner naman with family? and after dinner siguro balik na ng manila? what do you think?

haaaay. at syempre, ang pressure ng grandparents. blahblahblah. you know the drama. i've written about it tons of times before. tough situation.

and i've been dealing with it for four years. and i'll be dealing with it still for four more years.
gudluck na lang sakin.