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Thursday, July 31, 2008

wala akong masabi.

grabe, after how many months, ngayon na lang ulit ako nakapagblog. and i thought i had given up on blogging. i ran out of topics, i ran out of time, i ran out of willingness to blog. still, what matters most is that right now, for the meantime, i am reunited with my blog.

so for the past three weeks, i have been a different Regina Ongkiko. Gone (for the meantime) is the Regina who spends every break time at Area51. Gone is the Regina who goes home late because of simply NOT wanting to be home. Gone is the Regina who is pretty much relaxed about everything.

for the past three weeks, I have been an applicant of the UPLB Development Communicators' Society, the org of both my parents, my cousin and their close friends. Wait, I wasn't pushed into this. Sure, the idea of joining was introduced to me by my father but the mismong decision to join was made by me. when i made that decision, i knew i'd have to sacrifice a lot of things but i was willing to do anything to be a part of this organization.

ayun. mahirap. hehe. no kidding. kahit na sabi nila na hindi daw ako mukhang haggard, oo haggard ako. ngayon lang ako nakapagpuyat ng ganto. ngayon ko lang naramdaman tong presure na to. oo, obviously i've always lived with pressure. pressure because of who my parents are, pressure because they all know me. as in. define pressure! haha.

eto pa. i realized that i had been too attached to my high school batchmates that during my first year in college, i didn't take the time to get to know my college batchmates. ngayon, dahil sa application process na to, mas nakikilala ko sila at narealize ko how much i've missed the past year.

hmmm.anu pa ba.sabi nila lahat role playing lang daw lahat to. i try to keep that in mind, pero minsan, mahirap talaga. we are challenged physically, mentally and emotionally. batch unity is tested too. tinuturuan kaming mag-assert, at panindigan ang pinaniniwalaan namin. dito sa process, tinetest lang daw talaga kami. lahat sila dumaan sa ganito, mas malala pa nung panahon nila. unfair naman kung hindi namin to maxperience. ibig sabihin hindi kami deserving. at syempre, tinuro din sa amin na hindi lahat ng gusto mo ay makukuha mo ng ganoon kadali.

pero, weird enough, kahit na mahirap, nakakapagod at minsan talaga mararamdaman mo na gusto mo na itigil to, enjoy parin siya kahit papaano eh. batch meetings every night, kwentuhan tungkol sa experiences sa araw na yun, at kahit na pagod na pagod na lahat at may mga naiyak pa, laging may mahahanap na bagay na pwedeng pagtawanan. and if you're leaning towards the quitting side, may pumipigil sayo eh. BATCHMATES MO. because we all entered this together. at dapat lahat ng sinisimulan, tinatapos. at actually, kahit na 11 na lang kami, alam namin na kaming 11 yung 11 na talagang determined at talagang makikiramay hanggang dulo.

grabe 2 days na lang. namiss ko dati kong buhay, pero hindi ako nagrregret na nagaapply ako. ang dami kong natutunan. ang daming nagbago, and most of all, i found out that i really love my ten batchmates. walang iwanan, walang samaan ng loob. lahat kami, sama sama. :)

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