burnout

yep.super old song.by sugarfree.but i can't help it.it's been my theme song for the past days..weeks pala.last weekend nga eh, ang hilig ko mag-GM ng lyrics from that song na tlagang bumagay sa mood ko..

"dahil katulad mo, ako rin ay nagbago
di na tayo katulad ng dati.
kay bilis ng sandali.
O kay tagal kitang minahal.."

things change.i've written about it tons of times before.i've told myself over and over again that things really do change.INCLUDING me.alangan naman lahat magbabago, ako lang hinde?we all create the changes in everyone.each event that happens contributes to a change.okaaaay that sounded extremely weird.

"di na tayo katulad ng dati." hindi na nga. what happened?ay.don't answer.i know perfectly well what happened.masasagot din yun ng sumunod na lines.

"kung iisipin mo, di naman dating ganito
teka muna, teka lang.
kelan tayo nailang?
kung iisipin mo, di naman dating ganito
kay bilis kasi ng buhay.
pati tayo natangay..
O kay tagal din kitang minahal.."

"kelan tayo nailang?" pag nagkailangan na, mahirap na.kasi, parang biglang nawawala lahat.lahat ng pinagsamahan, napagusapan.. in short, all of the memories ay biglang nababalewala na lang. dahil sa "nailang." :(

so i tried to focus on other things. tawag ko dun doTa therapy. sure enough, it worked! i felt.. weird. i tried not to think too much about it and i lived freely. i enjoyed hanging out, i enjoyed writing, i enjoyed pc games, of course. theraphy nga eh. and i kept telling myself that i didn't care anymore. basta masaya ako ngaun, yun na yun. wapakels.

and then one day.. it suddenly dawned on me.i was listening to my ipod. bigla ko itong narinig. tapos..

"tinatawag kita, sinusuyo kita.
di mo man marinig.
di mo man madama.
o kay tagal din kitang mamahalin.."

i still cared. a lot. i was kidding myself by pouring all my time into other stuff, trying to forget. sure it worked, but i also realized i needed to think about it.nagkamali ako when i thought na kaya ko lang iwanan basta basta yung sitawasyon. so i thought about it. ayun. naadik ako sa burnout, na super lumang kanta na. nagGM ako ng lyrics, and a lot of people texted me saying "bakit andrama mo?"

nagreply ako sa isa in a joking manner. "minsan na nga lang ako magdrama, pagbgyan nyu na."

a friend told me over and over again: "drama mo."
sabi ko naman: "asa pa.alam nyu namang manhid ako."
and he replied: "asa ka."

sooo.anu na ngaun? i stopped sending dramatic GMs.haha.yung lyrics lang naman kasi talaga ng burnout ang gusto kong ipagpalandakan nun eh.ok na ko. i've thought about it. and yun nga, dba. I DO CARE. at..

masaya parin ako. kaya wapakels.

xD