i did NOT want this.

i didn't want this. i didn't want the crying and the arguments and the "bahala ka". i want to talk. to actually talk.tell me what you want.i'll tell you what i want and we can work things out.i just want you to take into consideration what's happening to me.i want you to listen. to actually listen, not just to nod and block what i'm saying. coz you have to hear what i've got to say. you have to.

i'm having a hard time making decisions.kasi naguguluhan na ako. hindi lang naman kasi ako, or kayo, or sila ang maaapektuhan. ang hirap. aaarrrrghhh.

two homes

as all of you probably know.. i live here in eLBi [Los Baños] in my grandparents' house. my parents and siblings live in manila. it's a tough situation. really.

i miss living with them. i miss seeing them everyday, talking to them, biking around, hanging out with them. sure i love eLBi. i really really really love elbi. i mean, my friends are here, the place is wonderful, the campus is really cool. but my parents and siblings aren't here.

i guess sometimes, advantage din yung di ko sila kasama dito. that way, i get to miss them. pag nagkita kami,wow!reunion!ahaha.we can spend more time telling stories to each othr, catching up. ewan ko lang kung anu magiging relationship namin kung dun ako nakatira during high school.cguro it's part of what made us close.

but.. yun.dito ako sa yUPieLBi magkacollege. the sad part is that once again, i don't get to live with them. i don't get to see papa,mumsy,chiara,jay and bea everyday. but i get to miss them still.aaaargghh. it's tough.really. sometimes i feel as if kelangan kong pumili kung saan ba talaga.

saan nga ba?syempre gusto ko kasama ko sila.pero syempre,gusto ko din kasama ko mga katropa ko.kakaiba yung feeling eh..

1. kasama mo parents mo, pero wala kang kilalang ibang tao sa lugar.
2. at home na at home ka sa place, you know everybody, but di mo kasama pamilya mo.

oh, and my birthday's coming up!haha.NO.i'm not excited.because i don't know what i'm going to do. i want to spend time with my friends AND my family. bwiset. ahaha. guys! help me think of something! siguro i can spend the whole day with my friends tapos dinner naman with family? and after dinner siguro balik na ng manila? what do you think?

haaaay. at syempre, ang pressure ng grandparents. blahblahblah. you know the drama. i've written about it tons of times before. tough situation.

and i've been dealing with it for four years. and i'll be dealing with it still for four more years.
gudluck na lang sakin.

first of summer

summer na ba?di ko pa feel eh.xempre.haha.we still go to school, we practice for our graduation,and we still have to complete the university clearance.it's weird,isn't it?that we're high school students and yet we have to have our clearance slips signed by the university.aargh.pampahirap pa eh. :c

it's also..uh..frustrating, i guess.i mean,almost everyone i know has already graduated.kami na lang ang hindi pa!asar!april27 pa.not that i'm looking forward to it.. well.ewan ko lang.

xempre,masaya ako na mamarcha ako.i failed economics during the 3rd quarter and i could tell my dad was disappointed.aba,malamang.i was the girl who brought home awards during elementary.and then when she entered high school, the good girl was gone.but, i did my best.and yun,i was able to pass econ.

anu pa ba.ayun.during the time i was gone, andaming nangyari.as in.puro complications!at least exciting.haha.but i can tell you that overall, i'm happy.

oh.i have a summer job.i'll start after grad.problem?di ata ako papayagan ng dad ko eh..

bahala na.

hmmm.

hmm.i've made my decision!i'm going back to blogging.
wait lang kayo.under construction pa. :)

done.

di na ko magbblog. :)

bka pag na-feel ko na lang ulit.anyway.

YM na lang.

silverpixietears.

ciao.